


(guilt is) a suffering too terrible to name

by justsomerain



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Clones, Cody-centric, Gen, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Mind Control, Post-Order 66, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomerain/pseuds/justsomerain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good soldiers follow orders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(guilt is) a suffering too terrible to name

**Author's Note:**

> The blood of thousands of Jedi and millions of clones is on the hands of the Jedi council.

When the order comes Cody responds without hesitation, taking Order 66 to heart. Because good soldiers follow orders.

The light hurts his eyes even through the visor of his helmet when he gives the order to blast the traitor Kenobi, end the Jedi threat here. After all, good soldiers follow orders, and Kenobi betrayed them all.

The AT-TE releases one bright blue bolt that makes him squint, and in the distance two tiny figures topple down the cliff face, the end of a traitor. Nobody could survive this, not even the Gener- the traitor Kenobi. He still orders probes sent to where the traitor fell, so he can report back with the news, so he can be certain he followed the order to the letter.

Night comes quickly on Utapau, and the probe droids come back with nothing.

“Nobody could have survived such a fall,” he is ascertained, and despite niggling feelings he is convinced.

But he can’t shake the feeling of eyes watching him, with scorn, with disappointment, even if the sensation is short and over almost as soon as he feels it. (Do they look at him with betrayal in them?) 

Kenobi is dead. 

He followed his orders.

-

The 212th is one of the first to return to Kamino, by order of the Emperor, after the Jedi Rebellion has been stopped, no more Jedi in the temples and the streets, no more Jedi leading the troops. No more Jedi side by side with clones.

Torrent Company joins them on Kamino soon after, with the disappearance of the traitor Jedi that led them, no doubt stopped in his tracks the way the others were.

Rex, his brother, who has fought side by side with him for so many battles, looks sick to his stomach when he lays eyes on him, and Cody can’t help but think of that pair of eyes he felt, sometimes still feels, on his back, full of disappointment, full of betrayal. When Cody opens his mouth to greet his brother he can almost see the same betrayal in his eyes as there is in the eyes burning in his back.

There is a fresh scar on his brother’s head, and he doesn’t ask. They don’t ask, scars are to be expected. They are soldiers, and they follow orders, even if they get hurt following those orders. 

Despite it all, there is not much to be said, Rex replaced weeks before the order came by Appo, not even present when the temples were purged of the traitorous Jedi. And somewhere Cody feels a doubt. There were children there. Within a moment the doubt is replaced by certainty. Those may have been children, but they had been trained by Jedi, capable of defending themselves, capable of attacking grown men. Some capable of winning from grown men, as Rex’ replacement had found out first hand, severely wounded at the hands of a child.

“It was the right thing to do,” he says, thoughtlessly, sitting side by side with his brother in the mostly empty mess, and the look that Rex gives him sends chills down his spine, the eyes that aren’t there burning on the back of his head.

And his brother says nothing, just looking at him with that look on his face, touching the new scar on his head.

When Rex speaks its his own voice reflected back at him, barely hiding the breaking of it.

“They were our friends, Cody. There was no right to this.”

They were… No, the Jedi were traitors. They betrayed them, they betrayed the Republic. Had they not stopped them in their tracks millions of people would have died, they were…

He shakes his head, perhaps with more force than is necessary, trying to shake off the feeling of eyes burning on the back of his head, on his back.

“No, no. They were traitors. You heard the order. Good soldiers follow orders.”

The eyes burn fiercer as he speaks, as his brother watches him with so much sadness in his eyes, with pain, but none of the betrayal that the eyes on the back of his head have in them. The mess is mostly empty and still he feels as if the eyes of every brother in it are fixed on him. Rex just looks at him, silent, rubbing that new scar of his. And finally he speaks again.

“General Kenobi was our friend. Your friend. We all…” 

His brother swallows hard, eyes flickering away, and then back to his face, to the spot Rex now has a scar. His voice is hoarse, and the eyes still burn.

“We couldn’t know, brother. Fives was right. He was kriffing right.”

He barks out a laugh, a harsh sound, shaking his head, before repeating himself.

“They were our friends.”

Cody can’t do anything but believe his brother, memories pushing aside the order, of fighting side by side with a man who was more Jedi than any other Jedi he had known. General Kenobi, the great negotiator, as close as a brother could be to him. A friend.

And the eyes filled with disappointment burn in his back, constantly, wherever he goes.

Good soldiers follow orders, you’re taught, but nobody teaches you how to deal with the consequences of them.

**Author's Note:**

> The Jedi council is culpable for devastation caused by Order 66 and the subsequent rise of the Empire.


End file.
